“Where the hell’s Tsunade?” Ino demanded, firmly holding Sakura by the arm so the spaced out girl wouldn’t wander off again.
Shizune looked up over the pile of paper in her arms, looking exasperated, tired and annoyed. “Lord only knows. She’s supposed to be working, but she took off. As per usual.” The last bit was muttered, but Ino heard the older woman anyway.
“Uh... do you know where I could find her?”
Shizune raised a sarcastic eyebrow at Ino. “If I knew where to find her, do you really think that I would still be here, trying to explain to important customers that the Hokage is busy with some immediate business?”
Ino wasn’t sure how to reply. Shizune already seemed like she had enough trouble on her plate. She didn’t really want to add to it.
Pretty much ignoring her anyway, Shizune continued; “And I would bet- no, I would swear that she was in one of the bars I visited. She just hides when she sees me. Or maybe in that damn gambling place. You know, the one near the market...” Shizune, so preoccupied with her rant, didn’t notice the glint in Ino’s eye when she heard Tsunade’s probable location. She didn’t even notice when Ino sneaked off, dragging a squirming Sakura behind her. “... And the worst thing is, she’ll probably show up five hours from now as if she hadn't been gone at all. And make me look like the one in the wrong. So, no, sorry, I can't help you.” She turned back around, but Ino was gone too, and Shizune sighed, wondering if she should try to not take her frustrations on anyone other than their source. Then she remembered that Tsunade-sama ignored her scolding anyway, so lecturing her wouldn’t help.
Well, maybe the Yamanaka girl will find her. Doubtful, but stranger things have happened. Shizune closed her eyes briefly and then went on her way, still balancing the stack of paper, still tired as hell, but a little calmer – or at least more resigned to her fate as Tsunade-sama’s eternal keeper.

---

“Ino-chan... where are you taking me?” Sakura whimpered.
Ino bit her tongue before she exploded at the girl. Granted, this entire business was Sakura’s fault to begin with, but ending up with a sobbing wreck was not on Ino’s agenda. So she would wait until this entire crisis was over (if it would ever be, a treacherous voice whispered in her head) and then she would blow up at Sakura right and proper. Much as she was head-over-hells with the girl, this was beyond stupidity. And to think they call her the smart one. Ino thought angrily as she stomped along the street. “We’re going to see Tsunade-hime.”
“Oh.”
Ino was thankful that that was all the answer Sakura gave. If she had started complaining again, Ino wasn’t sure she could keep her temper in check.
“But... why??”
Ino stopped walking, pulling Sakura to a stop besides her. She closed her eyes, counted to ten, and then opened them to see emerald green ones staring at her in puzzlement.
“Sakura, honey, please  shut up. Really. I’ll explain everything later, okay?”
The pink haired medic frowned at her, but then slowly nodded. “Alright.”
Ino let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps now Sakura would leave her to her own musings instead of aggravating the blonde further. It wasn’t like Ino didn’t have enough of a problem hunting down Tsunade-hime.

---

“Tsunade-sama!” Ino yelled as she spotted the blonde Hokage who was trying to make her way through the crowd without being noticed.
The Godaime turned around and noticed Ino with Sakura in tow. Her nose crinkled as if the task at hand was particularly unpleasant. At least she stopped.
“Yes, Yamanaka? What do you want?” Tsunade grumbled, eyes slit dangerously.
Ino caught up with the Hokage. Sakura was still whimpering a little, but Ino wasn’t going to pay attention to her now that they had finally found the elusive gambler.
“Good afternoon, Tsunade-sama. The mission went well; we confirmed a plot to assassinate the client. The target was successfully left at the same place we ambushed him. Hopefully his missing pocket watch and spare change will lead him to think it was a simple robbery.” Ino spoke clearly and professionally, she wanted Tsunade to be aware of the fact that she was good at what she did, that she was no longer an angsty teenage girl whose main worry was losing enough weight for Sasuke to notice her.
Tsunade raised a thinly plucked eyebrow in surprise. “That’s what you wanted to tell me? A mission report? Why didn’t you hand it in to Shizune like always?”
That’s when Ino grinned evilly. Tsunade, weathered veteran that she was, still felt a chill from Ino’s icy blue eyes.
“What. Did. You. Do. To. Her.”
Tsunade didn’t reply straight away. She was wondering whether she should make a run for it. after all, she was years older and more experienced than the Yamanaka girl. It couldn’t be to hard for a master at disappearing to get away from her, could it?
The cold look in Ino’s eyes said it could.
“... What are you talking about, Yamanaka? To whom?” after all, there existed a certain doctor-patient confidentiality. If Sakura didn’t tell Ino herself, Tsunade didn’t have to tell the other blonde ... well, anything, really.
“You are perfectly aware of which particular situation I am talking about, Hokage-sama. Please enlighten me as to your actions concerning the situation in question or I will inform Shizune of your whereabouts.”
Tsunade was mildly impressed. She had heard of Yamanaka’s temper, of course, she had heard about it from Sakura often enough, but seeing it first hand was a little unnerving. She hadn't expected the younger blonde to give her a run for her money, frankly.
“Uh... see, Sakura... confidential...  she said... um...” Tsunade wracked her brain for more words that might make some kind of sense. It was rare indeed that the Godaime was lost for words.
“I. Don’t. Care.” Ino said thought gritted teeth. “Tell me what you did. I need to know how to change her back.”
Tsunade looked irritated. All her hard work for nothing. “Look, Yamanaka, I don’t know what she’s told you, she did this of her own volition. From what I gathered, she did it for you. So you undoing what she wanted so much is not really the best idea.”
Ino crossed her arms decisively. “Why don’t you tell me what you did and I’ll decide if she should have done it or not. She’s in no state to make decisions.” The kunoichi tilted her head in Sakura’s direction where the medic was poking at a flower pot, speaking nonsense.
Tsunade winced when she looked over at her former apprentice. It was a bit of a pitiful state.
“If she asks – later, obviously – I only told you under duress.” She warned.
Ino smirked, happy at having gotten her way. “Of course. I wouldn’t even be lying.”
Tsunade gave a long suffering sigh. “You are really testing my patience, you know that?”
Ino didn’t reply.
“Fine. Look, she came to me a couple of days ago, around the time that Naruto came back with the traitor I think. She wanted me to turn her back to how she used to be. I didn’t really know what she meant at the time. Did she want me to make her look like she was 13 again? I could do that, I just didn’t see any reason to. It’s not like she’s fifty...” Tsunade gave a short self-deprecating laugh. “But she explained that she wanted her mind- no, her personality back to how it used to be.” She shrugged. “I think it might have been something you said, actually.”
Ino’s heart froze. This was her fault? “Wha- what do you mean?”
“Something she said. ‘Ino’s right, I’ve changed over the years I’ve been away from Konoha. Inner Sakura... she’s gone. I want her back. She kept me sane... ’ Something along those lines. I honestly hadn't even known Inner Sakura was real until that point.”
Neither did I... Ino thought, stricken by the thought that this whole episode had sprung up from her own callous remark.
“Anyway,” Tsunade continued, “I agreed to help her get her other personality back. It seemed like the right thing to do. She was utterly miserable these last couple of years, you know.”
I know...
“So I experimented a bit with her head. When something changed, I observed the results. Since she seemed to be just as – energetic? vivid? –” That’s a hell of a way to describe it, Ino thought. “– as she used to be in the old days, I let her leave. I didn’t think this would happen.” She indicated Sakura, who was still talking to the flower pot.
Ino looked mildly guilty. “Uh... actually, that might have been me. I kinda... used the Mind Transfer Technique...”
Tsunade froze in shock. “THAT WAS A DANGEROUS, IDIOTIC THING TO DO!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, YAMANAKA?!?” She paused to catch her breath. In a calmer voice, she continued; “Why on earth aren’t you trapped in her mind right now, then?”
Ino shuffled her feet sheepishly. “Um. I kind of convinced her other personalities that I didn’t mean any harm. They let me take over for a second so I could disengage.”
Tsunade looked slightly impressed. “Wow. Didn’t know they were capable of listening to reason. They almost trapped me eternally when I went digging too deep. I guess they trusted you more than me.”
Ino sighed impatiently. “That’s all very well and good, Hokage-sama, but we need to do something about her. She can't stay like this.”
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. “You hade better not be telling me what to do, Yamanaka. Just because your bluff worked once – only because I allowed it too, mind - doesn’t mean you can show impertinence like that and get away with it.”
Ino tried to look chastened. “Yes, Hokage-sama.”
“Okay, now that we’ve gotten that sorted out... Sakura!” she aimed the last bit at the medic.
Sakura looked surprised, but wandered over. “Hi.” She said cheerily.
“Yes, hi.” Tsunade answered distractedly. “Now, Yamanaka, how did you get them to switch? Can you do it again? I want to talk to the... loud one.”
Ino sighed resignedly. Facing Inner Sakura again wasn’t going to be fun.

---

- That evening -

Sasuke cracked his eyes open, ending the pretense of sleep. Naruto's blonde hair was poking him in the face. It was incredibly hard to sleep with it practically up his nose. Rather, it was incredibly hard to pretend to sleep whilst actually plotting his escape with Naruto's hair up his nose. Why did the dobe have to use strawberry flavored shampoo, anyway? It was distracting to have to smell it all the time.
Honestly, the Uchiha didn’t even know how they had ended up like this. He had sworn that Naruto would sleep in the same bed as him only over his dead body.
Naruto had cheerfully explained that in addition to sealing his chakra, Tsunade had placed and anti-suicide seal on him.
Sasuke had then threatened to set the house on fire with or without his chakra.
Naruto had taken great pleasure in informing Sasuke that this was an Uchiha house, not Naruto's tiny apartment, and even if Sasuke didn’t mind destroying his own property, there were plenty of other empty Uchiha residences where they could move to. At worst, he was sure that Tsunade wouldn’t mind housing Sasuke in a cement, completely fire-proof cell for the duration of his punishment.
Sasuke had sulked for two hours.
Eventually Naruto had gotten Sasuke into bed; with a lot of trouble, but minus the dead body, thankfully.
So now here Sasuke was, trying to get as angry as Orochimaru used to get him when reminding him of how Konoha didn’t respect his potential, how they stunted his growth in power and tried to control him.
Somehow, away from the snake Sannin’s whisperings, it didn’t seem as much of a conspiracy. And really, Naruto's hair didn’t smell that bad. It was just scary how much he felt at home with Naruto curled up next to him, strawberry scented hair and everything.
Sasuke sighed into the darkness. He guessed it wasn’t that bad, sleeping next to someone else. Although he did wish that Naruto would stop wriggling so damn much. It was disconcerting how much it bothered him, in fact.
It couldn’t be that he actually liked it. No, that was impossible.
Naruto was... loud... and obnoxious...and he liked ramen for goodness sake! And he also liked that annoying pink Sakura. If that wasn’t a sign of insanity, he didn’t know what was.
So clearly Sasuke couldn’t enjoy sleeping next to someone that mentally challenged. It was ridiculous.
He groaned and closed his eyes in irritation. This was giving him a headache, and not achieving anything even remotely useful. Like escape.
“Sasuke?” he heard his name whispered and froze. Had he woken the blonde terror up?
He grunted. “What do you want?”
“You were groaning. Are you okay? Do you want me to move? Am I keeping you awake?”
Sasuke’s eyes flew open. Naruto’s nose was right in front of his. The blonde dobe must have flipped over to talk to him. No, to bother him.
“My, aren’t we full of ourselves.” Sasuke said sardonically, and not a little unfairly. “What the hell makes you think that has anything to do with you?”
“Um... because you mumbled ‘Naruto’? And then you groaned. How many other ‘Naruto’s could you possibly know?”
Sasuke mentally swore. He hadn't gotten over his habit of muttering things under his breath. “Shut up and go to sleep, dobe.” he groaned.
“But Sasuke, if I’m bothering you, I can move a little. As far as the handcuffs will let me, anyway...”
“Gah! Just shut up and go to sleep. It’s fine.”
Naruto finally shut up and turned back around.
Sasuke gave a slight sigh of relief. Maybe now he could finally get started on his plan of escape. He closed his eyes so that Naruto's hair wouldn’t distract him as much.
He felt Naruto turning around again. His eyes snapped open. He wondered if Naruto's hair was soft...
“Hey, Sasuke?”
Sasuke counted to ten in his head before answering to ensure he didn’t wake up the neighbors (distant though they were to the centre of the Uchiha complex) with his reply.
“What.” He said through gritted teeth.
He could hear the grin in Naruto's voice. “... Does that mean you like sleeping next to me?”
“AURHGGHGHG!!!”
One thing was for sure; not only did the neighbors hear, but most of the richer district in Konoha heard Sasuke’s cry of despair as he tried desperately (and unsuccessfully) to block out Naruto's shrieks of laughter.

---

tbc